It's been a while since I posted here...
Life has been interesting, I really don't have much to say this morning. My family and I are getting ready to buy a house. This is a second pass at this particular buffet of the American Dream. It doesn't seem much different except perhaps in my reaction.
My first pass was in, (Oh crap I never thought I would be alive long enough to say this...), my younger days...in another place both in my life and in the world.
It has been a longer and much more thoughtfull process this time around, and I am ambivelant almost to the point of being indecisive. This makes for a better negotiating position, but I can't honestly say that I did any better in the marketplace as a result.
More I guess, when the decision is made...
Saturday, July 23, 2005
So, where are we today...is that the editorial we? So, where am I today...
We're still here in Fall River, Massachusetts. (Live here long enough you learn how to spell it...).
My family and I are here, minus one who we miss, but who is well.
Darian you should call your brother when you can, he misses you, though he doesn't mention your name as much these days as he used to. You should call him to remind him of how much he loves you. I know that might not mean as much to you now, but when you grow older you'll regret not keeping that connection. You only get so many people in your life who give you love, every one is precious. I love you too, DAD.
We're still here in Fall River, Massachusetts. (Live here long enough you learn how to spell it...).
My family and I are here, minus one who we miss, but who is well.
Darian you should call your brother when you can, he misses you, though he doesn't mention your name as much these days as he used to. You should call him to remind him of how much he loves you. I know that might not mean as much to you now, but when you grow older you'll regret not keeping that connection. You only get so many people in your life who give you love, every one is precious. I love you too, DAD.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
In the mornings, sitting there on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands or my hands on my knees, I wonder. I'm amazed that I feel no different than my eighteen year old self. Maybe it's because I didn't spend all that much time looking in the mirror at that age, becuase that would certainly have changed my attitude.
Maybe not.
No matter, the point is that I feel like I should have gained some wisdom, that I should have more answers to life's persistent questions, (apologies to Garrison Keilor). I haven't, and now I have to wonder, "What will I tell my son when he asks...?".
Maybe not.
No matter, the point is that I feel like I should have gained some wisdom, that I should have more answers to life's persistent questions, (apologies to Garrison Keilor). I haven't, and now I have to wonder, "What will I tell my son when he asks...?".
Monday, August 25, 2003
Monday evening and all seems so well in my world. I am afflicted like most of my generation I think, with this constant fear of the other shoe…We were the first generation to truly understand the threat of annihilation, it might have been cute to see all those pictures in the World Book Encyclopedia year book and Life magazine of kids cowering as directed under desks in the late 50s. By the time we were in school we had realized the futility of any such action and stopped the drills.
No more hiding under seats…why? Because it’s fucking ridiculous that’s why…why make the kids crawl around and get their jeans and blue chinos all scuffed in the knees when the likelihood that it would do any good was slim to none.
If they drop the bomb then we are all going to die, except of course the few who built bomb shelters, oh we make fun of them now, and truth be told the combined power of all those bombs going off at once is as likely to crack the globe like an egg as not, so there’s an even chance that even those were a exercise in fu-fucking-tility…
So where do I go from here…Oh! I started this by talking about what a seemingly, (there I go again), good time this is in my life…
This crowd of mine… always waiting for the other shoe…
Fuck the other shoe, fuckabuncha shoes…
No more hiding under seats…why? Because it’s fucking ridiculous that’s why…why make the kids crawl around and get their jeans and blue chinos all scuffed in the knees when the likelihood that it would do any good was slim to none.
If they drop the bomb then we are all going to die, except of course the few who built bomb shelters, oh we make fun of them now, and truth be told the combined power of all those bombs going off at once is as likely to crack the globe like an egg as not, so there’s an even chance that even those were a exercise in fu-fucking-tility…
So where do I go from here…Oh! I started this by talking about what a seemingly, (there I go again), good time this is in my life…
This crowd of mine… always waiting for the other shoe…
Fuck the other shoe, fuckabuncha shoes…
Monday, April 14, 2003
Another week begins and they all have promise. This is spring and truly so now since the weather has finally warmed...and, I hope, my heart will soon. I have felt a distant leaden presence, not quite foreboding, more like that feeling you get when you think you might throw up but you don't really feel all that bad. There are few things that make me happy in the news these days, everything I hear and see makes me start to think of ways to move my family out of harms way...
The problem with having a large extended family is that the issues around somehow protecting them all from harm multiply geometrically...can I convince them to move to some part of the country least likely to get hit? Would they agree to go? Does such a place even exist?
I gravitate towards the far northeast these days. Maine, the Canadian Maritimes...cold but clear.
The problem with having a large extended family is that the issues around somehow protecting them all from harm multiply geometrically...can I convince them to move to some part of the country least likely to get hit? Would they agree to go? Does such a place even exist?
I gravitate towards the far northeast these days. Maine, the Canadian Maritimes...cold but clear.
Thursday, April 03, 2003
I don't have much to say today, but for some reason feel the need to update this page.
We never should have gone to war in Iraq, am I saying something that is obvious, preaching to the converted. I don't care...
The worst part is that some poor ignorant sons and daughters of bitches will take the current turns of events over there as some kind of opportunity to justify what has been done.
Like succeeding at something wrong is somehow a justification for doing it in the first place.
It's the same kind of thinking and rationalization that created the cult of the anti-hero...now there's a concept:
Make hero's of people who do bad or anti social things because they look so cool when they act like that...nothing succeeds like success...so Michael Milken should be a hero because he successfully robbed a million people...I'd have traded a couple of years in minimum security for 3 or 4 billion 1980 something dollars...
So this is starting to sound bitter...so screw it, let's end this small tirade and start again tomorrow. One thing that staying alive for a few extra years has let me understand is that you can always start over again, it is never too late while there is life and if you have hope...
I do.
We never should have gone to war in Iraq, am I saying something that is obvious, preaching to the converted. I don't care...
The worst part is that some poor ignorant sons and daughters of bitches will take the current turns of events over there as some kind of opportunity to justify what has been done.
Like succeeding at something wrong is somehow a justification for doing it in the first place.
It's the same kind of thinking and rationalization that created the cult of the anti-hero...now there's a concept:
Make hero's of people who do bad or anti social things because they look so cool when they act like that...nothing succeeds like success...so Michael Milken should be a hero because he successfully robbed a million people...I'd have traded a couple of years in minimum security for 3 or 4 billion 1980 something dollars...
So this is starting to sound bitter...so screw it, let's end this small tirade and start again tomorrow. One thing that staying alive for a few extra years has let me understand is that you can always start over again, it is never too late while there is life and if you have hope...
I do.
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